Fixxxed?
I was listening through some old music today, and it brought back memories. I’d never really remembered my seniors’ jersey and why I’d had a song title and the lucky number 13 printed on the back of it instead of something boring like my last name and the year I graduated.
The song was Fixxxer by Metallica, and it played today. Listening to it again, reminded me why… 5 years of high school, 5 years of pain.
Through prayer, quiet discussions and meditation, I think that some of the damage has beed repaired, but the best solution that creeps into my mind is to stab the pins into a different body, preferrably one of the 250-odd who caused the pain the first place. Now, it doesn’t take a genius, biblical scholar or second year psych student to work out that this solution isn’t going to solve the problem. Back to the drafting board I think.
With luck, I might find a solution before my 10 year anniversary. With prayer, that solution might be peaceful and blessed.
Through friends who know friends, I heard that some of those 250-odd were somewhat internally injured by their own actions towards me, if that was any consolation, I’d be happy. It wasn’t, in fact, it makes things worse. That more lives were damaged along with my own, doesn’t make for a more cheery future.
While those years are still unforgotten, they are moving away from being unforgiven. Am I Fixxxed? No, but Im a little less broken.
…Peace